I gave myself the day off on waking up early today, but I still managed to get up at 8 on my own. Making progress, I think?
A few weeks ago, I was contacted by a computational modeling professor from one of the schools I applied to for my PhD. I didn’t list them as a potential mentor, but they saw that I’d taken some computational modeling classes before and have had some experience with programming, and asked if I’d be interested in working in a computational modeling lab. I’d never considered it before since I’m in no way proficient at programming. We had a phone conversation about what it’d be like to work in his lab, and about his research, and after spending the next week reading a few of his papers, I came to the conclusion that I would likely enjoy working in his lab, although it might be difficult to pick up the programming and the advanced statistics that they use.
I emailed him back saying basically that, and he replied that if I were having trouble with reading papers with lots of equations, it might indicate that his lab isn’t a good fit; however, he also mentioned that while grad students wouldn’t be required to come up with models, we’d have to be able or willing to learn how to read computational papers. I replied saying that I would be willing to learn, and confident that I’d be able to pick up the necessary skills. It’s been a week since I emailed that to him, and no response back yet, while before that he’d always responded to emails within a day or so. Now I’m worried that he has lost interest in me as a potential PhD student.
On the bright side, this has kickstarted my motivation to finally learn Python; I’m trying to work it into time slots in my planner. I’m hoping he just suddenly has gotten very busy. I’m not sure whether or not I should email him again, and even if I did, I don’t know what exactly I’d say.
Today I have an appointment with a new PCP. I haven’t been to a PCP in a while, and I don’t think I’ve had a physical since high school. However, since my insurance changed to Obamacare last summer, I wasn’t able to go to my psychiatrist anymore for my Adderall, and yes, I’m only now finally going to a PCP to get back on my Adderall that I’ve been out of for months. It’s only thanks to one of my friends giving me a list of some doctors that she knows are good and are also “prescription pad-friendly”.
I goofed and forgot I have lab today, so I accidentally scheduled it for 2:45; since it’s a new patient intake, I have to fill out forms and stuff as well, so I actually need to be there by 2:15, meaning I’ll have to leave the lab early. I know it won’t be a big deal, though, especially since I’m not working in the lab for credit. I still kinda feel bad, though. Maybe it’s part of my self-esteem thing, but I always feel like I’m not doing enough or not making much progress.
This past weekend, I looked through the apartment and through the last two boxes that haven’t yet been unpacked to see if I could find my sketchbook. No dice, although I did find the pencil bag that had all my “art” pens/pencils/stuff. Oddly enough, it was missing the pack of felt-tip type art pens that I had. So either I looked everywhere and still somehow missed seeing my sketchbook and pens (entirely possible), or I lost them or maybe they got taken to my parents’ house. In any case, I bought two small sketchbooks from Michaels, along with some Sakura Micron pens that are used for Zentangle.
Maybe I’ll block out some time today to try it out. All I’ve really got is work tonight, though I do want to start on updating my budget. My goal for that today is to at least get my main bank account updated in YNAB. Aside from that, I want to spend some time learning Python, and get my Adderall prescription filled before I go to work.
I feel like I’m trying to do a lot of new things/establish a lot of new habits this month, so I hope it doesn’t backfire on me for trying to bite off more than I can chew.
I was pretty successful in my attempt to be productive yesterday. I didn’t end up trying out Zentangle, but I was able to get my checking and savings account all updated in YNAB. It probably helped that I took my last Adderall, after saving it for months, for whatever reason. It never fails to amaze me how much of a difference it makes, especially after having been on a break from taking it. Chores feel less like a burden that I have to work up the motivation to do, and more like something that simply needs to be done. I feel like I’m able to better inhibit that part of me that has some slight anxiety and overanalyzes interactions in social situations; i.e., it’s easier to talk to people, especially strangers. Planning comes more easily — it’s not as difficult to break difficult tasks into steps, and prioritize which to do first — which in turn makes a difficult task (such as budgeting) less daunting and easier to start and finish.
And my new PCP wrote me prescriptions for Adderall for three months out, so I don’t have to worry about running out for a while; I even already got the first one filled yesterday.
Tl;dr, I did adult things and got back on my medication and now I feel super productive and motivated to get stuff done. HAPPY HUMP DAY GAIZ.