When I Die

I want to be cremated. Unfortunately, my grandma passed away two weeks ago, and her funeral was this past weekend. I’m glad that she doesn’t have to suffer anymore, but it was really difficult to watch my parents, aunts, uncles, and grandpa have to deal with the pain of her loss. Most of my family wrote a piece about her for a memoir, and after reading through the rough copy last weekend, I wish I had been able to get to know her better. Most of my cousins also were in the same situation as me; the language barrier and my grandma’s quiet nature kept us from being able to bond with her over the years, but it’s easy to see how amazing she was through what my aunts and uncles had to say about her in the memoir. In junior high, my great grandma passed away, but I don’t really have any memories of her at all, and my memory of her funeral proceedings are very hazy. So it was pretty surprising to see the ceremonial/traditional funeral garments that my parents, aunts, and uncles wore . . . to be honest, it had a cult-ish Ku Klux Klan vibe since Asian cultures traditionally associate white with death and mourning. And the daughters of my grandma had a hood as part of their garment. Although my grandma passed away, it was nice to see that my family was also able to have fun, even on the same day of her burial. After her burial ceremony, our family went to a restaurant to eat, where we had reserved a private room. I’m not sure how other funerals are, but I think that the feast was probably also a way to celebrate her life. I suppose I should get back to my initial point. I want to be cremated when I die. My grandma had an open-casket viewing before the burial, and whoever prepared her body must’ve pulled back the skin on her face to make it more taught and “prettier”. They also put make-up on her, and the lipstick made her look completely unlike how I had seen her when she was alive. So I want to be cremated in order for people to be able to remember me the way they want to, not still and lifeless. Besides, I have this crazy notion that I’d arrange for my ashes to be split up into bottles for people to take away with them. Like party favors or something. So that they can scatter them on their next vacation. In any case, I’d want my funeral to be more of a celebration, but I guess funerals are for the living, not for the dead. Or so I’ve heard. I don’t know if anyone’s noticed, but there is a new sub-page under the “About the Authors” page. Phantasma is a fellow student who is starting to focus more on his interest in writing and drawing/art. I’m sure he’ll post his on introduction soon enough, but I figured I should go ahead and formally announce it in a post of my own. After all, this is my blog. Classes are officially over for me, and now it’s finals time. I only have two, and the first one isn’t until Friday, the 11th, so I have quite a bit of time to procrastinate study. However, what I’m worried about most at this point is my piano II class’s recital on Saturday. What with the funeral and the suspense with my grandma’s death, I hadn’t really put much effort into practicing my piece. It’s an etude, which is a piece “intended as an exercise or to demonstrate technical virtuosity” (dictionary.reference.com), and as such, a real pain in the ass to learn. I’m happy to say that I’ve seen a great amount of progress in the past couple of days and can get through the piece fairly easily. At least, I pretty much know the notes; it’s just getting my fingers to remember them by Saturday. If I don’t have it down by Saturday evening, I at least have a fall-back, and my professor already knows about this. But she’s given me her vote of confidence and seems to think that I’ll be able to have it together by Saturday, so I’m sure that’ll help boost my morale and all that jazz. I probably won’t publish another post ’til after finals, but at least then I’ll have time to make a vlog.For all my readers who are also students, good luck on finals! I just tried an epsom foot soak for the first time in my life, and it felt soooo good. Next step is to take an epsom salt bath.